A Messy Blessing...

The very first thing God instituted, even before the church, was family.  Family is part of God’s design for how we learn about Him. Through family we learn how to get along with others and how to reconcile when we do not. We learn what it means to love unconditionally and to practice forgiveness and grace. What a messy blessing!

You could have been born at any time in history, on any continent, in any civilization. Out of all the families in the history of time, God put you in the family he put you in.
What a messy blessing!

We come into the world completely dependent on another human being. We are unable to feed ourselves, dress ourselves, or protect ourselves. Family does that for us. And, if we live long enough, we will probably leave this life unable to do many of those same things for ourselves.  What a privilege to be able to care for our elderly parents who once cared for us in this way.
What a messy blessing!

What a blessing and a challenge to meet them wherever they are mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually and to walk with them during the final season of their earthly journey. Our aging parents face tremendous challenges as their body and mind begin to fail. Frustration, anger, loneliness, and physical pain can all be crippling. We can assure them they are not alone. That God loves them and provides for them. Many times, God is using us, their family members, as the means for providing for them.
What a messy blessing!

It is difficult work that requires intentional grace. Mistakes will be made; feelings will be hurt. It requires patience, and love, and forgiveness - all those lessons that they taught us as they cared for us when we were younger. There are times when they are not grateful for our sacrifice, there are times when they want more of our time and attention than we are able to give, and there may be other times when they want less of our attention and involvement in their affairs. And there are gut-wrenching times when there simply are no good answers to the problems they are facing. Suffering through diminishing health and abilities is…suffering. The root meaning of the word compassion means “to suffer with.” One of the greatest gifts we can give to someone who is suffering is simply to be with them. Although we cannot fix what they are going through, we can assure them they do not have to be alone as they go through it, we can suffer with them.
What a messy blessing!

Jesus modeled this for us on the cross. As he looked down on his mother who had taught him about his Heavenly Father he was concerned about her and did not want her to suffer alone. He had compassion on her as he asked his best friend John to care for her now, “When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “ Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” John 19: 26-27

I was blessed to have my aging mother live with me in my home for sixteen years after my father passed away. Together we suffered through her breast cancer, heart issues, diabetes, over a dozen surgeries on her legs and finally a drug resistant infection that God used to take her home to heaven. There was no way to keep track of the number of doctor visits, ER visits, surgeries, hospital stays, rehabilitation centers, pain, frustration, and tears. There is also no way to count or measure the depth that our love and respect for each other grew as we suffered together. She was an excellent mother who taught me about Jesus, unconditional love, grace, forgiveness and having a zest for life. In the end, I was able to remind her of those same lessons.
What a messy blessing!

To be used by God to care for an aging parent is both an extremely challenging and significantly meaningful opportunity. It is God who gives us the strength and compassion as we are motivated by the love he shows to us. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  John 13:34-34

What a messy blessing!